There is nothing taboo on this topic anymore, and this is a subject that I have discussed so many times with my girlfriends and other women. But I never imaged myself writing about this at some point in my life.
But hey, this blog is my responsibility now, and a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. So, when is the right time for sex? How long do we have to wait?
Classical scenario. We meet this guy, date him, like him, and are attracted to him, and whether we are 22, 35, or 41, there is the same question sitting on our lips When is the right time? How many dates should we wait before having sex?
And of course, there is the time when the guys put pressure on us from the first or second date, which I personally hate. I am not a saint, and it happened a few times. However, I am like, most of the time, please keep it down for a while; we’re not going to die tomorrow. Or, as a side joke – I was watching the movie Don’t Look Up last night, so maybe we will; therefore, why not make the best out of it? :))
Regardless of the movie (which made me have a drink after and watch two hours of standup to come back to reality), we women are more calculated, and we want to make things right. And deep down in our minds, we really think if we make the right move at the right time, this will show that we are not easy but eligible for a relationship. We also want to have a good time, but we might want more if we like the guy.
So complicated with us and all the millions of wires that connect our female brains. I am so jealous that men only have 2-3 wires and things are so simple for them 😀
At the same time, who doesn’t like sex? Ok, allegedly some people don’t or at least don’t enjoy it that much. It’s hard for me to understand, but yeah, I assume sexual appetite is like a scale with different grades.
Every dating phase has a different rhythm or intensity for everyone. And it is also about how safe we feel, especially for us women. When I say safe I mean, comfortable to do it.
So what is the answer to the question, When is the right time to have sex for the first time with a guy we are dating?
Let’s be honest there. No recipe will make things right or wrong. If things are doomed, they will be anyway. If he just wants to have fun, he will still do it, and while he is waiting to score you, he can sleep with other women. Finally, you guys have sex, and of course, you might never see him after. Or perhaps you will occasionally meet just for sex, no other strings attached.
It’s a lottery. Guys would say anything to get you into bed, and like literally anything. I’m not blaming them, as biologically speaking, they are built to leave their semen and move on.
On that account, what do we do? There must be something.
I read many articles where the 3 dates rule is mentioned, making me smile. It reminds me of one of my favorite tv shows – the one and only Sex and The City.
Personally, the average is about a month, even less. This means a couple of dates, so we start to get to know each other at least and see the level of attraction, figure how we feel about each other, what we have in common.
Getting to the sexual part is also very important because this is an essential part of getting to know the other person. This is a way part of the intimacy is built.
When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I was more careless and went with the flow. In the last few years, I have been a little more patient, and I wanna see more about what I am dealing with and maybe also because my standards are higher 😀
My Best Honest Advice To You
Do what you feel. 100% Not what society teaches you what your parents think, what your friends might say and what strangers might judge.
If you wanna do it after the 1-2 date, go for it. If you want to wait, wait. Whatever makes you feel good about it, and there is no judging.
The rule is that there is no rule. Pure chance. I have friends who had sex at their first date and have been happily married for many years. And I know girls who made their men wait for long, and there was no outcome.
The best advice I can give you is to live the moment, enjoy spending time with other people, and do it with no regrets if you feel like doing it.
What is your rule about having sex for the first time while dating?
